True Life: I want to be a Hibachi Chef

For Valentine’s Day this year I told Christine that she could pick whatever her heart desires for dinner and like a smart girl she picked the local Hibachi spot and boy was it delicious. It started like a normal Hibachi experience we sat with a bunch of strangers and made small talk it was awkward but damnit it’s necessary if you want Hibachi.

Then our chef came out. He did the thing where he damn near lit us all on fire, and that was just to start

It was blinding, but at the same time I saw the light…like do I want to be a hibachi chef when I grow up? Short and long answer, yes. But it only got better from there. The dude hit us with all the classics, the catching the egg in the hat, the shittly funny dad jokes, flinging broccoli at us in the hopes we catch it in our mouths, and my personal favorite the onion volcano

This dude killed it, the world was watching and he delivered, he had ice in his veins. Who do you want to take the last shot? Michael Jordan? Fuck no…hibachi guy for the win.

You may be asking yourself, Mike why would you want to do this for a living?

And I really don’t know, something about having the eyes of the world on you and being able to just slay at cooking and look cool as shit doing it. These dudes are cool, if the dude were to ask me if he could kiss Christine I would tell him yes because he was the coolest dude in the room. And maybe I’d be cooler if he smooched my Feyonce. I know that’s not how it works but just for the sake of argument let’s say it does.

I do not know much about life, you might say I’m clueless. But what you may not know about me is I strive to be a cool dude, is being a Hibachi Chef what it means to be cool? If so I’m going to practice my Hibachi moves on the Blackstone and start putting on shows for people. Below is an artists rendering of what I would look like as a Hibachi Chef

I’m chiller than Polar Bear, Salt Bae better watch out. So there you have it, my goal is to be a Hibachi Chef. I’m sure I’ll follow through with it

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