I was hungry, so I decided to have some captain crunch, not the best cereal out there but easily one of my favorites. And if you throw crunch berries in there? fuhgetaboutit I’m powerless. But upon the decimation of my second bowl (told you I was hungry) I noticed something terrifying. The roof of my mouth was straight fucked from this cereal.

It shouldn’t be news to anyone that captain crunch absolutely demolishes the roof of your mouth because evidently it is made of little shards of Fiberglass or something. It has to be, there is no other explanation of how something so delicious does so much damage. It’s beyond parody at this point. So what is big cereal waiting for? Why must we continue to suffer for a product that we enjoy so much.

If you ask me it’s time for those sleazbags in Washington to stand up to Big Cereal and fix captain crunch so it doesn’t make you bleed after eating it. Looking at your Mr. President. Save us Chrump Daddy

But in all seriousness I’m hurting right now. Thoughts and prayers are welcome, and yet I still have the desire to blog about it, you can thank me for my service whenever you want