Tomorrow is Darwin’s Favorite Day of the Year

As I’m sure you’re well aware tomorrow is the 4th of July, if you knew that congratulations you are a well functioning adult. If this is news to you then this blog is probably about you.

We all know what the 4th of July is about; Beers with the Boys, Grilling, and Fireworks. Lots and lots of Fireworks. In fact the 4th of July is when you learn who the real idiots are in the world and I for one am excited to see what idiots on the internet decide to do with fireworks this year. It seems like every year on the 5th of July you hear stories of people blowing themselves up while celebrating the 4th of July. I personally love it, I find it hilarious maybe because I’m an asshole, or maybe because I think fireworks are kind of lame, the Jag Offs who blow off fireworks in my neighborhood deserve to blow off a limb or two, but hey that’s just my opinion. And the rule is you have to respect my opinion regardless of how morbid and terrible it is.

Charles Darwin once wrote a book on the theory of Evolution and in his book he wrote basically that only the strong survive…Pretty much stating that the idiots of the world will weed themselves out further advancing the human race with smarter not jackass people. I for one think fireworks should be legal because it’s our civic duty to let idiots blow themselves up if they want to…last time I checked this is America damnit, land of the free and the home of the idiots who like to play with fireworks. And that is what this country is about.

But for real I hope everybody has a safe and Happy Holiday. Remember to be safe I.e no drinking and driving, and remember not to pretend that you have a firework for a dick

Put one anywhere near you butt/butthole

And for the love of god don’t put them anywhere near your face

So to make a long story short don’t be an idiot tomorrow

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