Disclaimer: I know you aren’t supposed to be eating Tide Pods, nobody should be doing it.

So I was doing laundry the other day and I did what I normally do, load up the washer and I reach for the off brand of tide pods we have. I don’t know what it was but something inside me told me to take a whiff of it, so me being a dumb guy I listened to my inner self and guess what? These things smelled frigging delicious, not only do they smell delicious they look like little pods of Kool-Aid or atleast that’s the first thing my mind went to

I know this next part is going to sound crazy but the animal part of my brain was telling me “C’mon Mike, take a bite, don’t those damn things look delicious, c’mon Mike what’s the worst thing that could happen?!” Death…deaths what would happen my inner self, you stupid idiot. I gotta stop listening to that guy, he is nothing but trouble, he also is apparently a Teenager because Gen Z’ers are the only ones would legitimately think eating Tide Pods is a good idea. Teenagers amiright? Glad I never was one. Back in my day we didn’t have that Tik Tok crap but where was I??? Oh yeah,

If they didn’t want us eating these fuckin things they shouldn’t make them so damn good looking, or smelling. They should make them unappealing looking as humanely possible. Maybe make them look like Mitch McConnells face? Maybe a snake? Nobody likes snakes…or Mitch McConnell for that matter