Over the past few months the Fake News media has engrained in our society that it is no longer socially acceptable to drink Monster Energy Drinks without looking like a Douchebag-Hardo-Kyle and frankly I’m getting rather sick of it.

Monster is delicious, it comes in numerous flavors and the best part is that it does what it’s supposed to do, I mean what other products out there are responsible for you becoming a beast while giving you gratuitous amounts of hypeness? Answer: None.

I love Monster, I’m not ashamed of that, I even mixed 6 of them together to see if I could travel through time, it was delicious. But noooooo, Monster gives you strokes, only douchebags drink Monster, don’t drink Monster if you’re pregnant…Enough is enough

If you’re looking for a caffeine buzz don’t reach for coffee, reach for a Monster. You won’t be disappointed because you won’t be disappointed with results. And Monster gives results. Shit I’m even thinking about getting a Monster Energy tattoo.

If anyone from Monster is reading this I 100% believe everything I just wrote, tryna be the official Energy Drink of The Warming Home?