My Top 5 Favorite Gym People

If you know me you one of my favorite things to do is make love to myself at the gym, ya know? Just get a good pump going…ya know? That veinage, that swoleness, what the French call a certain…I don’t know what (Austin Powers reference for ya). Another thing in my top like 20 things to do is people watch; Man oh man some of the shit you see at a gym. I’ve compiled data for the past 6 months (totally not true) to make a comprehensive power ranking of the top 5 people you see at the gym.

P.S not all of these will be negative, I’m trying this new thing out where I try not to be an asshole

5. The guy who shows up once every two weeks and is on his phone the entire time

We have all seen this guy/gal. Or maybe you haven’t. If you’re a regular at your gym you kind of notice people and they typically don’t become strangers anymore. You may even form bonds with some of these people…but not this guy, he’s here for one thing and one thing only; to tell people he went to the gym, and To do an entire body workout that will make him so sore that he can’t come to the gym for 2 weeks.

4. The Guy who has no idea what the fuck he’s doing

You’ll see this fellow using the leg curl machine to do curls, half reps, and pretty much having a seizure during every exercise they do, but that’s not their fault, they don’t know better. Eventually it will click and they will join meathead status or they will hurt themselves and turn into the “Show up once every two weeks guy”

3. The really small guy who thinks he’s jacked

I personally love these guys. I mean how can you not respect the confidence, or body dysmorphia…I can make fun of that because I totally have that and I think I’m bigger than I am too. I connect with these fellas, they are here for one reason, to get huge. And you no what? Good for them…and their puny arms.

2. Olds

I love seeing old people at the gym, and by old I mean 65+, not those middle aged dudes who wear bandanas, those guys can kick rocks. You have to respect the drive to get a little healthier while they are on their last leg, even though you genuinely worry about them dying at the gym every time you see them…or Atleast I do

1. People who work their ass off

Nothing else to say here, people go to the gym to better themselves. These people really are the best part about going, it feels like you’re taking a journey together, nothing better than seeing results in yourself and damnit these people get results too

That’s it


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