Well, It’s February 17th. That little idiot Groundhog “Saw his Shadow” and spring should be here any minute now. But not so fast, if you managed to take a look outside today you would have noticed that it is snowing for like the third time since said Furry Idiot Groundhog saw his shadow. What the hell?
I’ve lived in Illinois my entire life and this winter truly feels like it’s been the worst one we have dealt with in a very long time. It feels like there is no end in sight. It’s depressing, all I want is to be able to make a plan for myself on a lazy Sunday and not have this dick nose snow ruin it. We are all being robbed by this asshole winter, and it should be arrested.
Me: “It’s 3, 3 is the one who robbed me of the last 4 months of my life”
Officer: “Are you Sure?”
Me: “Yes*Sniff Sniff*, It’s 3, I remember his face”
Officer: “Ok, Thank you for being so brave, but don’t worry we got him. Guys like him don’t last very long in Jail”
I think today while I’m stuck inside my house and in between having to walk my happy ass outside and shovel, I’m going to file a police report against this Son of a Bitch Winter. I’m sick of this guy and him pushing his White Powder all over my neighborhood.
I hope they Lock him up and throw away the key.
The Warming Home 
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